next season

The ACTC Theatre banquet is tonight, which means next season’s theatre schedule will be announced tonight.  The programming committee has done a pretty good job so far of keeping next season’s shows pretty quiet, although there are some rumors.  Of course when I started hearing speculation almost two months ago, I couldn’t help but put in my two cents.  While the rumors I heard were completely plausible – and one or two are very likely – I believe mine are a whole lot more fun, even if none of those rumors ever took flight.  Here are some of my favorite suggestions:

Starlight Express – Andrew Lloyd Webber’s tale of a toy train come to life.  This one might be plausible if it weren’t for the fact that the actors are supposed to perform wearing roller skates.

Rent – Jonathan Larson’s rock opera about the life of several artists struggling to survive in New York City’s slums over the course of a year.  The subjects of homosexuality, drug use and AIDS are just what’s needed to bring in the crowds in eastern Kentucky.

Les Miserables – Claude-Michel Schonberg, Alain Boublil, and Herbert Kretzmer wrote Les Mis based on the Victor Hugo novel of revolutionaries in France in the early 1800s.  While it is an exciting show and would certainly draw a crowd, it would be nearly impossible to put together a cast large enough to pull it off, not to mention the insane cost of building the sets and getting props for the barricade scene alone.

The Producers – Mel Brooks’ tale of two Broadway producers striving to get rich by creating a musical so bad it has to fail.  This show could actually be performed, but the kicker was my suggestion that we would get Matthew Broderick to reprise his role as Leo Bloom for our performances.

Twilight: The Musical – As a revenue boost, this show would bring in the teenage girls night after night after night.  It could probably even run a third weekend in this town.  If only show existed – and Twilight had a better story.

Avenue Q, Jr. – Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx’s Avenue Q is the story of people and monsters, mostly in their early 20s, living about 11 blocks farther into Alphabet City in New York than those folks from Rent.  The show includes a cast largely comprised of puppets and songs about homosexuality, having loud sex, racism, life having no purpose, pornography, and enjoying the suffering of others.  What could be more likely than that to offend the fine folk of eastern Kentucky?  The only thing I could think of was to have it performed by children – thus, Avenue Q, Jr.

Tonight I’ll find out if next season’s shows will include roller skates, vampires or singing puppets, and I’ll be sure to let you all know.  In the meantime, what other shows should I have suggested?

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