On toilet seats

I will never for the life of me understand what it is that women find so hard about lifting the toilet seat after they’ve finished using the bathroom.  The is nothing so infuriating about walking into the bathroom to pee only find yourself making a mess because somebody left the seat down.

Men understand that women don’t like to pee while hovering over the toilet like we do, but we at least expect you to have the decency to put the seat up when you’re done.  It’s not like we men ask for much.  We don’t care if our laundry is neatly folded – or even actually clean – or if there is some sort of side to go with the meat we have for dinner or whether or not the kids have finished their homework.  All we really want is for the toilet seat to be put back up after you’re done – the same way we left it after we finished.

I know all the ladies reading this are probably thinking, “Why should we have to lift the seat?  Why don’t you lift it and put it back down?”  There are a few reasons for this:

  1. Women tend not to be as tall as men.  That means that women are closer to the toilet and do not have to bend as much to put the seat up.
  2. Women sit when they use the toilet.  It is much easier to lift the seat as you stand than it is for us to bend over to lift it.  That makes it just plain common courtesy.
  3. Women are more observant than men.  You know that to be true.  Unless it involves sports, sex or the waitress at lunch, guys are not likely to take note of their surroundings.  When was the last time your guy noticed you got a haircut or your anniversary without you bringing it to his attention?  Women are FAR more likely to notice that the toilet seat is up, and they nearly always do whenever entering a bathroom.  I know this because they always make that observation upon exiting said bathroom.  A guy will likely not even notice the seat is down until it’s too late.  In fact at night, he may not turn the lights on at all and be completely unaware of the fact that the seat was down until it is brought to his attention by a woman in the morning.  (A guy will never notice it in this instance.)

For these reasons, I call on women all over the world to give the guys a break and put the toilet seat back up when you finish.  It’s easy to remember if you just keep this campaign tag line in your mind:

Give your guy a lift!

Explore posts in the same categories: Sarcasm

3 Comments on “On toilet seats”

  1. Newt Says:

    To which I say, learn to aim better!

  2. cocoaval Says:

    I have one thing to say. You are lucky that you are out of range of my elbows/fists ;-).

    • Andrew Says:

      That’s the reason that I clearly categorized the post as “Sarcasm.” I always put the toilet seat down, even if I’m the only one who uses it. Apparently, it’s become some sort of habit or obsession, hopefully the former!

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